Where Are the Fathers? Challenging the Invisibility of Aboriginal Men in Early Childhood Education

Recently, I had the privilege of attending the Early Childhood Australia Conference, where I listened to Thomas Mayo deliver a deeply moving keynote exploring Indigenous fatherhood.

Drawing on his book Dear Son: Letters and Reflections from First Nations Fathers and Sons, Thomas shared personal reflections about his relationship with his father, the lessons he had inherited, the things he wished he had done differently and the kind of father he hoped his own son would become.

One moment that stayed with me was his reflection on telling his young son that he was too old to hold his hand in public. Looking back, Thomas wished he had never said it.

It was such a simple moment, but one that spoke volumes about the expectations we place on men, the ways masculinity is shaped and the messages passed between generations.

Throughout his keynote, Thomas challenged the damaging stereotypes that continue to surround Aboriginal men and fathers. He spoke of love, responsibility, cultural continuity and the importance of recognising the strength of Indigenous fatherhood.

As I listened, I found myself reflecting on the men in my own life.

The Men Who Show Up

I am incredibly fortunate to have an amazing dad.

He is selfless, generous and has always been my number one fan and biggest supporter. I also have four brothers, all of whom are dads themselves, and I have watched the love, commitment and care they bring to their families.

Following separation, my own children no longer have daily access to their dad. Like many families, our circumstances have changed, and the way our children experience family life looks different from what it once did.

But what has been particularly special to witness is the way the other men in their lives have stepped forward. My dad has become one of their main carers. My brothers have also taken on important roles, offering their time, love, guidance and support.

They haven't stepped in because they were asked to fill a position. They have stepped up because they love my children, because they understand the importance of family, and because caring for children is something we do together.

Watching these relationships develop has reminded me that children benefit from having a network of people who love them, advocate for them and help them find their place in the world.

It has also made me think about how we recognise and celebrate these relationships in early childhood education.

 

 

Where Are The Fathers?

Walk into an early childhood service and consider the images on the walls, the books on the shelves, the people represented in dramatic play and the family experiences reflected in the curriculum.

Where are the dads? Where are the grandfathers, uncles and other important men? And, more specifically, where are the Aboriginal men?

Too often, when Aboriginal people are represented in educational resources, we see a narrow range of identities and experiences. We might see Aboriginal men represented as historical figures, hunters, dancers or artists, but how often do we see them changing nappies, preparing meals, comforting babies, reading bedtime stories or helping children navigate big emotions?

How often do we see Aboriginal men represented as contemporary fathers, scientists, educators, business owners, community leaders and cultural knowledge holders?

These representations matter.

They matter for Aboriginal children who deserve to see the men in their families and communities reflected positively in their learning environments. And they matter for non-Indigenous children, who are developing their understanding of Aboriginal people and communities through the stories, images and experiences we provide.

When we consistently present Aboriginal men through limited or stereotypical representations, we risk reinforcing narrow assumptions about who they are and the roles they play.

But when children encounter diverse and authentic representations of Aboriginal men, we create opportunities to challenge stereotypes before they become entrenched.

When the Media Tells a Different Story

One of the most confronting aspects of Thomas Mayo's keynote was his discussion of the negative stereotypes that have historically surrounded Aboriginal men. For generations, Aboriginal fathers have been portrayed through deficit narratives that suggest they are absent, irresponsible, violent or incapable of caring for their children.

These representations have appeared in political commentary, news reporting and even newspaper cartoons.

In 2016, a controversial cartoon by Bill Leak depicted an Aboriginal father who did not know his son's name. The cartoon drew widespread criticism for perpetuating racist stereotypes about Aboriginal fathers and their relationships with their children.

In response, Aboriginal fathers and families shared photographs and stories through the #IndigenousDads movement, celebrating the love, pride and everyday commitment of Indigenous men to their children.

More recently, reporting around the Northern Territory Intervention and its legacy has highlighted how harmful stereotypes of Aboriginal men as dangerous or neglectful continue to influence public perceptions. Thomas's reflections reminded me that these narratives are not harmless.

They influence the way Aboriginal men are perceived, the assumptions made about their parenting and the opportunities they have to participate fully in their children's lives.

And children are not immune to these messages.

Children begin developing understandings of race, gender and identity from a very young age. They notice who is celebrated, who is absent and who is consistently portrayed negatively. As educators, we have an opportunity, and I would argue a responsibility, to actively challenge these narratives.

This does not mean pretending that challenges do not exist within families or communities. It means refusing to allow deficit narratives to become the only stories children hear. It means making space for stories of Aboriginal men who are loving fathers, devoted grandfathers, generous uncles, thoughtful educators, community leaders and cultural knowledge holders.

It means ensuring that Aboriginal boys grow up seeing positive representations of the men they might become.

And it means ensuring that all children develop a more truthful, respectful and nuanced understanding of Aboriginal men and their contributions to families and communities.

 

 

The Stigma Facing Men in Early Childhood Education

This conversation feels particularly important given recent events within the early childhood education sector. Following deeply concerning allegations and cases of child abuse in early learning settings, there has been increased public scrutiny of the sector and renewed discussion about the role of male educators.

Understandably, families want reassurance that their children are safe. Child protection must always be our highest priority, and the sector must continue strengthening safeguarding systems, accountability and professional practice.

However, some of the public discussion has shifted towards questioning whether men should be working with young children at all. There have been calls to restrict male educators from undertaking intimate care routines, including nappy changing and toileting, and broader suggestions that men should be excluded from early childhood education.

I find this deeply concerning.

We absolutely need robust child protection policies, transparent reporting systems, effective supervision and strong professional boundaries. These expectations must apply to everyone working with children, regardless of gender.

But we also need to be careful that our response to serious failures in child protection does not reinforce the harmful assumption that men are inherently less trustworthy or less capable of nurturing young children.

Research has highlighted that men make up only a small proportion of the early childhood education workforce and frequently experience suspicion, isolation and gender-based stereotypes. Imagine being a passionate male educator who has dedicated his career to supporting young children, only to feel that your presence is viewed with suspicion because of your gender.

What message does this send to men considering entering the profession? And what message does it send to the children watching?

If we want boys to grow into caring, empathetic and emotionally available men, surely they need opportunities to see men demonstrating these qualities. They need to see men comforting children, changing nappies, preparing meals, resolving conflict peacefully, reading stories and building nurturing relationships.

We cannot simultaneously tell boys that caring is everyone's responsibility while creating environments in which men are discouraged from participating in caregiving. For Aboriginal male educators, there can be an additional layer of complexity when gender-based suspicion intersects with longstanding racial stereotypes.

This is why I believe we need to be particularly intentional about how we welcome, support and celebrate Aboriginal men in early childhood education.

Child safety and gender inclusion should not be competing priorities. A genuinely child-safe service must be one in which safeguarding is everyone's responsibility and every educator is held to the same high professional standards.

Fatherhood, Kinship and Collective Responsibility

One of the things I appreciated most about Thomas Mayo's keynote was the way it celebrated the role of fathers while acknowledging the complexity of intergenerational relationships. For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families, kinship and extended family relationships can play significant roles in children's upbringing, identity and cultural learning.

Grandfathers, uncles, brothers and other important men may contribute to children's lives in ways that extend far beyond conventional understandings of fatherhood. During the keynote, Jaden Williams read a contribution from Torres Strait Islander father Yessie Mosby, which described a traditional leadership structure and the responsibilities shared between brothers.

It reminded me of the importance of collective responsibility and the understanding that no one should have to carry life's responsibilities alone. This resonates with my own family's experiences. My children have a grandfather and uncles who actively contribute to their upbringing. Their relationships are not secondary or less meaningful because they don't fit a conventional nuclear family structure.

They are central to my children's sense of belonging, security and identity. This is something I think educators need to consider more deeply. When we talk about family engagement, whose families are we imagining? Are we assuming that mothers are the primary caregivers? Are we unintentionally overlooking fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other important people?

And are we creating environments where diverse family structures are genuinely recognised and respected?

 

 

Creating Culturally Safe Services Starts with Representation

One of the most practical ways educators can begin challenging stereotypes is by critically examining the stories, images and resources children encounter. However, simply purchasing a collection of Aboriginal resources does not automatically create a culturally safe learning environment.

Cultural safety requires us to reflect on our own assumptions, build respectful relationships and consider how Aboriginal children and families experience our services. It requires us to ask not only whether Aboriginal perspectives are visible, but whether Aboriginal people feel respected, valued and genuinely included.

This is something we explore in our Koori Curriculum webinar, Beyond Engagement: Building Culturally Safe Partnerships with Aboriginal Families. The webinar encourages educators to move beyond surface-level engagement and consider the everyday practices, relationships and assumptions that shape cultural safety.

When we think about Aboriginal fathers and other important men, this might mean reflecting on who we communicate with, who we invite into our programs and whether our environments reflect the diversity of Aboriginal family life.

It might also mean reviewing the children's literature and resources we provide.

 

 

Start with the Stories Children Encounter

There are some beautiful First Nations children's books that celebrate the relationships between children and the important men in their lives. Leanne Murner's stories, including Frankie and the Banksia and Loui and the Grass Tree, are particularly meaningful examples. Inspired by her own boys and their grandfather, these stories celebrate children spending time on Country, learning about the land and developing relationships through shared experiences.

What I love about these stories is that cultural learning isn't presented as something separate from family life. It happens through relationships, conversations, observation and time spent together. Educators might use these stories as a springboard for conversations about the people who teach children important things, the knowledge shared between generations and the different ways families connect with Country.

Crabbing with Dad by Paul Seden is another wonderful example. It follows children on a crabbing adventure with their father, celebrating the joy of spending time together, sharing knowledge and learning through everyday experiences.

This story could inspire children to share experiences of fishing, cooking, gardening or exploring outdoors with the important people in their lives. Goodnight Daddy by Gregg Dreise offers another representation of fatherhood, inviting children to explore the love, tenderness and hopes shared between a father and child.

And One Word by Melissa-Jane Fogarty explores the relationship between a young girl and her grandfather, providing opportunities to discuss language, cultural identity and the important role of Elders and family members in passing knowledge between generations.

These books are valuable not simply because they feature Aboriginal characters, but because they broaden the stories children encounter about Aboriginal family life. They represent Aboriginal men as loving, knowledgeable, emotionally connected and actively involved in children's lives.

 

 

Use Games and Play to Broaden Representation

Resources such as the Father Emu board game and First Nations Who Am I? cards can also provide opportunities to embed Aboriginal perspectives through everyday play. For example, educators might use First Nations Who Am I? to introduce children to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people working across different professions and contributing to contemporary society.

This could lead to conversations about Aboriginal men who are artists, athletes, scientists, educators, authors, community leaders and business owners. The Father Emu board game can provide another opportunity to explore caregiving and the different roles males play in the natural world, alongside conversations about how caregiving responsibilities are shared within families.

The important thing is that these experiences are intentional. Rather than treating Aboriginal resources as occasional cultural activities, we should be considering how they can become part of our everyday curriculum.

Cultural inclusion is not about how many Aboriginal resources we own. It is about the understandings, relationships and experiences we create through them.

 

 

Moving Beyond Resources: Building Relationships with Aboriginal Men in Community

While books, games and learning materials are valuable starting points, they cannot replace authentic relationships with Aboriginal people. One of the most meaningful ways educators can challenge stereotypes is by creating opportunities for children to develop genuine connections with Aboriginal men in their communities.

I think about people like Uncle Greg from Yama 2 You, who visits schools and early learning services, sharing cultural knowledge and experiences with children and educators. I also think about Tim Selwyn from Girri Girra and the important work he is doing in this space.

Men like Greg and Tim are helping children encounter Aboriginal culture through relationships with contemporary Aboriginal people who are passionate about sharing their knowledge. Their presence offers opportunities for children to see Aboriginal men as educators, mentors, storytellers, cultural knowledge holders and respected community members.

But I think we need to challenge ourselves to go further than simply inviting an Aboriginal man to visit our service once a year. How can we build relationships that are ongoing, reciprocal and meaningful? How can Aboriginal men contribute to curriculum planning, cultural learning and community connections? How can we ensure their knowledge and expertise are respected rather than treating their involvement as an occasional cultural experience?

And how can we make sure that Aboriginal men are not expected to carry the responsibility of educating everyone else about Aboriginal culture?

These are the kinds of questions we explore through Koori Curriculum's Beyond the Acknowledgement: Building Meaningful Relationships with Aboriginal Communities webinar. Building meaningful community partnerships takes time, trust, reciprocity and a willingness to listen. It also requires educators to recognise that Aboriginal people are not a resource to be accessed, but people with whom we need to build genuine relationships.

When we approach community engagement in this way, we create opportunities for children to experience Aboriginal perspectives through connection rather than tokenism.

 

 

Supporting Aboriginal Educators to Thrive

Another important part of this conversation is how we support Aboriginal men who choose to work within the early childhood sector.

Representation matters, but so does retention. If Aboriginal male educators enter services where they feel isolated, stereotyped, culturally unsafe or constantly required to justify their presence, we cannot expect them to remain. We need to consider the workplace cultures we are creating.

Are Aboriginal educators genuinely supported? Do they have opportunities to contribute their professional knowledge without being expected to speak on behalf of all Aboriginal people? Are their cultural identities respected? Are they supported when they experience racism or discrimination?

And are male educators able to participate fully in the nurturing and caregiving responsibilities of their profession?

Our Koori Curriculum webinar, Strong Culture, Strong Educators: Supporting Aboriginal Educators to Thrive, provides an opportunity for services to reflect on how they can better support Aboriginal educators and create workplaces where they feel valued, respected and culturally safe.

Because if we want children to grow up seeing Aboriginal men as capable, nurturing and knowledgeable educators, we need to create professional environments where those men can thrive.

What can Educators do Differently?

There are some simple but meaningful ways educators can begin strengthening the representation of Aboriginal fathers and other important men in their programs.

• Review your learning environment. Look at your books, posters, photographs, puzzles and dramatic play resources. What roles do Aboriginal men occupy? Are they represented in contemporary family and community life?
• Introduce more diverse children's literature. Include books such as Crabbing with Dad, Goodnight Daddy, One Word, Frankie and the Banksia and Leo and the Grass Tree throughout the year, not just during NAIDOC Week or Father's Day.
• Create opportunities for family storytelling. Invite families to share photographs, stories or experiences involving the important men in children's lives, while respecting their privacy and individual circumstances.
• Challenge gender stereotypes through play. Encourage all children to participate in nurturing experiences, including caring for dolls, preparing meals and expressing affection.
• Reflect on your family engagement practices. Consider whether fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other caregivers feel welcome and included in your service.
• Develop meaningful community partnerships. Connect with local Aboriginal men, Elders, educators and cultural knowledge holders, ensuring relationships are respectful, ongoing and appropriately remunerated.
• Support male educators. Create workplace cultures where men are welcomed, respected and held to the same professional standards and safeguarding expectations as every other educator.
• Invest in cultural safety. Engage in professional learning that challenges assumptions, strengthens cultural responsiveness and supports genuine partnerships with Aboriginal families and communities.

Most importantly, don't wait for Father's Day to make fathers visible in your curriculum.

The Stories We Choose to Tell

As Thomas Mayo concluded his keynote, he encouraged educators to continue teaching and celebrating Aboriginal culture and heritage, even when faced with resistance. His words reminded me that the stories we choose to share with children have consequences.

They influence how children understand themselves, how they view others and what they come to believe is possible. When Aboriginal boys see men who look like them represented as loving fathers, capable leaders and respected knowledge holders, we help create opportunities for positive identity development.

When Aboriginal girls see the men in their families and communities celebrated, their experiences and relationships are affirmed. And when non-Indigenous children encounter these representations, we challenge the stereotypes and deficit narratives that have shaped public perceptions of Aboriginal men for far too long.

I think about my own dad, my four brothers and the important roles they play in my children's lives. I think about the Aboriginal fathers and grandfathers whose love and commitment often go unrecognised. I think about male educators who continue to show up for children despite the suspicion and stigma they may encounter. And I think about Aboriginal men like Uncle Greg and Tim, who are actively creating opportunities for children to connect with culture, community and positive role models.

As educators, we have a responsibility to ensure that the stories children encounter reflect the diversity, strength and beauty of Aboriginal families. Perhaps the question isn't simply, where are the fathers?

Perhaps we should be asking why we haven't made more space for their stories.

Questions for Critical Reflection

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