Educator Yarns S06 EP04: No Is a Full Sentence and Other Truths About

In this episode of Educator Yarns, Jess Staines, Director of Koori Curriculum, sits down with Shan and Kelly for an honest yarn about real partnership with Aboriginal families once you look past the flags and the bush tucker puzzles.

Shan shares a story from an early masterclass, recorded about three months into working at Koori Curriculum, that has shaped every conversation since. An Aboriginal mum explained that she can't send her daughter to care with an ordinary scraped knee without wondering whether she'll be collecting her child that afternoon or answering questions from officials.

Jess talks about the phone call she got after her son's four-year-old health check at preschool. A stranger read out a list of problems over the phone: a lisp, feet that turn inward, his weight, and back teeth that little hands physically can't reach yet. She describes how fast that deficit list made a confident Aboriginal mum feel like she was failing.

Kelly's son started childcare at 18 months and turns six in March. In all that time, his service has never updated her enrolment details, even after she moved from Service NSW into early childhood consultancy. And their invitation to join the RAP committee came with a strong whiff of "here, you do it".

Along the way you'll hear about birth certificates, baby sensory classes, a suspiciously handsome line-up of charity collectors at Brisbane Airport, and plenty of practical strategies you can take into your room on Monday morning.

Key Takeaways:

The yarn covers a lot of ground, so here are the moments we reckon will change how you greet, enrol and walk alongside Aboriginal families at your service.

The bruise that carries generations of fear. Shan explains why a mystery bruise on an Aboriginal child's knee feels completely different for that child's mum. Shan also says that more Aboriginal children are in out-of-home care right now than were removed during the Stolen Generations. An apology without changed behaviour doesn't mean an awful lot.
Deficit phone calls land like a punch. Jess's story about the preschool health check shows how a list of "problems" from someone a family has never met can flatten even the most informed parent. Think about who delivers news, and how.
Enrolment forms are a starting point and nothing more. Explain why you're asking each question and what you'll do with the answer. Offer families a support person. Make it a conversation instead of a paper interrogation. Many Aboriginal families also have very real reasons for not handing over a birth certificate, and Jess unpacks how services can work around rigid processes.
Families change, so your records should too. Kelly's experience shows what happens when a service relies on information collected on day one and never asks again. Five years is a long time to miss out on knowing the family you care for.
Your RAP committee is your responsibility. Asking an Aboriginal parent to join is lovely. Expecting them to build it, run it and fix it for you is offloading cultural load. Kelly spotted it a mile away, along with the weekly "Aboriginal perspectives" update that hadn't changed in, well, ever.
Give families a menu of ways to be involved. Gardening, cooking, reading stories on the mat, admin help or the RAP. Let families choose. Some just want to sit and be, with no group time of 30 children to manage.
Sometimes a mum just wants to be a mum. Jess shares how every playgroup, gymnastics, music and baby sensory class asked her for cultural advice once they found out what she did for work. You'll hear why that gets exhausting, and why "no" deserves respect the first time.
"No" is a full sentence, and usually it means "not yet". Shan offers a beautiful reframe: 99 per cent of the time, a no from a family means "not right now", "not yet" or "not in that way". Give space and grace and you'll earn far more trust than any amount of pushing.
Cultural safety is a feeling. Jess describes choosing her children's preschool for warmth, delight and belonging. Through divorce, family illness and her own health battles, the educators made extra sandwiches, helped with NDIS forms and never once judged. Resources sprinkle culture across your room. Relationships make families feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
Small, consistent actions build the bridge. Learn families' names. Share a positive update every afternoon. Check with families before reading a Dreaming story, because Australia has hundreds of nations and that story might not belong to them. Try a "question of the week" and keep your cultural learning plan alive. Consider identified positions, an Aboriginal artist in residence or an Elder in residence, and don't pigeonhole your Aboriginal educators. Plenty of them would rather lead your STEM learning, thank you very much.

This episode is a gentle shake on the shoulder for every educator who has quietly wondered why an Aboriginal family keeps their distance. Trust gets built in the small moments: the morning greeting, the honest explanation on an enrolment form, the "no worries" when a family says not right now.

Jess, Shan and Kelly give you the stories and strategies to start building it today. Press play, have a giggle at the Brisbane Airport story, and then head to the Koori Curriculum website for our three new webinars on cultural safety for Aboriginal educators, families and communities.

Then share this episode with the colleague who still thinks a flag on the fence is enough.

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Educator Yarns S06 EP04: No Is a Full Sentence and Other Truths About Working With Aboriginal Families

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