In early childhood, we often talk about inclusion, but whose version of “family” are we centering?
For many educators, inclusion begins with recognising diverse family structures like single-parent households, blended families, or same-sex parents. But long before these conversations entered mainstream discourse, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities have always held complex, relational, and deeply interconnected ways of understanding family, gender, and belonging.
I want to yarn about this from both a cultural and a personal place—because for many of us, these aren’t just concepts. They are lived realities.
Kinship: More Than Family, It’s a System of Life
Kinship in Aboriginal cultures is not just about who you live with or who gave birth to you. It is a sophisticated system that determines relationships, responsibilities, roles, and ways of being in the world.
Children are not raised by one or two adults, they are raised by a collective.
- You may have multiple mothers and fathers (Aunties and Uncles who hold equal caregiving roles)
- Cousins may be considered brothers and sisters
- Grandparents, Elders, and extended kin are active, daily caregivers
- Older siblings often take on significant caregiving responsibilities
Kinship systems are grounded in reciprocity, obligation, and connection to Country, Culture, and Community.
So when a child says, “This is my mum,” and it’s their Aunty, believe them. Within kinship systems, that is their truth.
My Story: What Kinship Looks Like in Practice
This isn’t theoretical for me, it’s how I was raised.
I’m one of five. I have two older brothers who are 15 and 12 years older than me, biologically, they’re my cousins, but I was raised alongside them as siblings. Growing up, they had direct caregiving responsibilities for me. They weren’t just “extended family”, they were part of my everyday care, my upbringing, my sense of safety and belonging.
I also have two younger brothers, three and six years younger than me. And just like the cycle continues, I’ve played an active role in caring for my older brothers’ children. That responsibility flows both ways across generations.
Care in our families isn’t fixed, it’s shared, fluid, and responsive.
I remember filling out a form as a mum to attend a local playgroup. They asked for car registration numbers for authorised carers because parking was restricted. I listed seven different number plates, grandparents, aunties, uncles, older cousins.
I was questioned about it.
But for me, that list reflected something really important, my children are surrounded by a strong network of people who love and care for them. That’s not unusual. That’s kinship.
“Which Grandparent Do I Invite?”
A friend once shared with me that her son found “Grandparents Day” at preschool really confusing, because he didn’t know which of his 22 grandparents he was supposed to invite.
And that’s the thing, these systems don’t fit neatly into Western boxes.
Moments like this ask us to reflect:
- Who are our events designed for?
- Who might feel unsure or excluded?
- How can we broaden our language, “special people,” “family and community day”, to honour all children’s realities?
Gender Diversity in Aboriginal Communities
There is a common misconception that gender diversity is something new. In truth, many Aboriginal cultures have long recognised diverse gender identities and expressions.
Tiwi “Sista Girls”
On the Tiwi Islands, “Sista Girls” are individuals assigned male at birth who live as women. They are respected members of community, often holding important cultural and social roles.
Their identity is not separate from culture, it is part of it.
Blak LGBTQIA+ Voices and Advocacy
Organisations like Blak Rainbow continue to advocate for and support Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander LGBTQIA+SB+ communities, highlighting that identity is layered, intersectional, and grounded in culture.
Representation Through Performance and Community
Performers like Felicia Fox and Nana Miss Koori are powerful examples of visibility and celebration, using performance to share stories, challenge assumptions, and celebrate identity.
Events like the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras also see strong Aboriginal participation each year, showing pride in both culture and identity.
Understanding Overrepresentation in Care
We also need to name an important truth.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children are overrepresented in out-of-home care, not because of a lack of care within families, but because of the ongoing impacts of colonisation.
This includes:
- The legacy of the Stolen Generations
- Intergenerational trauma
- Systemic racism
- Socio-economic inequities
At the same time, kinship care is a strength within our communities.
Grandparents raising grandchildren. Aunties stepping in. Older siblings supporting younger ones.
This is not dysfunction, it is protection, continuity, and cultural survival.
What This Means for Practice
Rethinking Policies and Assumptions
Think about policies like:
- “Children must be collected by someone over 18”
From my own experience, these kinds of policies can unintentionally exclude the realities of our families.
Older siblings often have real caregiving responsibilities. Extended family members are trusted carers.
We need to ask:
- Are our policies about safety, or are they based on narrow assumptions?
- Who might be excluded by them?
- How can we adapt them to be both safe and culturally responsive?
Creating Inclusive Environments
- Use inclusive language: family, mob, community, special people
- Invite families to define their own structures
- Avoid assumptions about “mum and dad” households
- Reflect diverse families in books, play spaces, and displays
- Build genuine relationships to understand who is important in each child’s life
For me, this isn’t just theory, it’s lived experience. It’s how I was raised. It’s how I raise my children.
It’s how our communities continue to care for one another.
When we truly understand kinship, gender, and family from an Aboriginal perspective, inclusion stops being something we “add in”, and becomes something we live and honour every day.
So next time a child lists multiple carers…
Next time a sibling arrives for pick-up…
Next time a child talks about multiple mums or grandparents…
Pause. Listen.
And recognise the strength in what you’re seeing. Because this isn’t “different.”
It’s deeply connected.
