When Good Intentions Cause Harm

Understanding and Addressing Microaggressions Against Aboriginal Children and Families

Most educators don’t wake up intending to cause harm. In fact, the opposite is true.

Early childhood is full of people who care deeply about inclusion, belonging and fairness. And yet, harm still happens.

Not through overt racism. Not through deliberate exclusion. But through microaggressions. 

Subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviours that communicate bias, stereotypes or doubt, and that accumulate over time. This is about recognising them and interrupting them, and repairing when harm occurs.

Because good intentions do not cancel impact.

The Ones That Stay With You

For me, one of the most common microaggressions I’ve experienced, both as an educator and as a facilitator delivering workshops, has been:

It’s often said casually. Even as a compliment. But it’s damaging.

When I was younger, I already struggled with identity and belonging. Every time someone said that sentence, it landed on a sore spot.

It told me:

• There is a “look”
• I don’t meet it
• I am somehow the exception
• My identity requires validation

I heard it said about fairer Aboriginal children too.

And when I began visiting services through Koori Curriculum, I would always ask:

Not “really” what? 

Not “really” Aboriginal? Not “really” connected? Not “really” legitimate?

That language polices identity.

It diminishes lived experience. It reinforces narrow stereotypes. And it happens more than people realise.

 

 

What Are Microaggressions?

Microaggressions are subtle comments or actions that:

• Other someone.
• Stereotype them.
• Question their legitimacy.
• Make assumptions about their background.
• Centre dominant comfort over minority safety.

They are often framed as curiosity. They are rarely intended to harm. But they do.

What Microaggressions Look Like in Early Learning Settings

1. Questioning Identity

• “You don’t look Aboriginal”
• “Are you sure?”
• “What percentage are you?”
• “They’re Aboriginal but not really…”

This impacts both adults and children. Imagine a child hearing their identity debated by educators.

2. Physical Intrusions

• Touching a child’s hair without consent
• Commenting excessively on skin tone
• Treating difference as novelty

These behaviours exoticize rather than normalise.

3. Assumptions About Family Circumstances

• Assuming low socioeconomic status
• Assuming unemployment
• Assuming trauma
• Offering unsolicited “support”

Patronising comments like:

• “Do you need help with that form?”
• “We can provide support if things are hard at home”

These assumptions reinforce deficit narratives.

 

 

4. “Why Do We Do So Much Aboriginal Stuff?”

This one comes up often now, especially when conversations arise around:

• Australia Day
• Voice to Parliament
• Treaty
• Truth-telling

Educators sometimes worry:

• “Is this too political?”
• “What about everyone else?”

Reconciliation is not politics. It is justice.

And embedding Aboriginal perspectives is not about exclusion, it is about correcting historical imbalance.

5. “We Don’t Want to Be Too Political”

Avoiding conversations about colonisation, land rights or systemic inequality in the name of neutrality is not neutral. Silence protects the status quo.

When educators say:

Why Microaggressions Are So Harmful for Children

For Aboriginal children, microaggressions can:

• Undermine identity development
• Create shame
• Signal that their culture is conditional
• Impact sense of belonging
• Reinforce internalised doubt

Early childhood is a critical period for identity formation. Subtle invalidations accumulate.

 

 

Interrupting Microaggressions in the Moment

Here are scripts educators can use.

When Someone Says: “You don’t look Aboriginal.”

You might respond:

“Aboriginal people don’t have one look. Identity isn’t about skin tone.”

or

“That comment can feel invalidating. Let’s be mindful of how we talk about identity.”

When Someone Says: "Why do we do so much Aboriginal stuff?”

You might say:

“Embedding Aboriginal perspectives is part of our responsibility under the EYLF and our commitment to reconciliation.”

or

“This isn’t about doing more for one group — it’s about addressing historical imbalance.”

You can gently interrupt:

When Assumptions Are Made About Family Circumstances

You might say:

“Let’s check our assumptions. We don’t want to unintentionally stereotype.”

 

 

Repairing When Harm Has Occurred

If you realise you’ve caused harm:

1. Acknowledge it.
2. Don’t defend it.
3. Apologise clearly.
4. Commit to learning.

For example:

• Explaining your intention.
• Minimising the impact.
• Making the harmed person comfort you.

Repair builds trust. Defensiveness breaks it.

Moving From Awareness to Action

To address microaggressions systemically:

• Embed anti-racism training in staff PD.
• Discuss identity and bias openly in meetings.
• Develop clear anti-racism policies.
• Use reflective supervision to unpack bias.
• Create accountability structures.

This work cannot sit with one Aboriginal educator. It must be whole-team responsibility.

When people say: “But I didn’t mean it like that.”

I believe them. Most of the time.

But impact matters more than intention. I don’t share these experiences to shame educators. I share them because I’ve lived them, and I’ve seen the way they shape children’s sense of self.

If we want culturally safe services, we must go deeper than celebrations and displays, we must examine:

• Our language
• Our assumptions
• Our discomfort
• Our silence

Because sometimes the most harmful things said in early childhood settings are the ones delivered with a smile.

And reconciliation demands that we do better than that.